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The double-sized ending to - The Age Of The Thighmaster! Saturday, 08-Jan-2000 12:31:09
The Age Of The Thighmaster - Conclusion. A burst of energy, and sky erupted in nuclear fire. Fin Fang Foom had arrived. “Protect the Thighmaster!” Cried Baron Zemo as the dragon attacked, Master-Bots rallied round their leader and fought to protect him, through a battery of laser fire Fin Fang Foom screamed in defiance, a deafening roar that could be heard throughout the farthest reaches of Parodopolis. “WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE!” Shouted ManMan as loud as he could. “WHAT GAVE YOU THAT IDEA?” Replied Knifey. “oh god....LOOK AT TROIA!” ManMan shifted his gaze towards the Amazon, she was running toward the dragon, she held her spear high in her right hand, she was aiming to throw. ManMan spotted Lisa, she was signalling to Joe to get out and meet at the cave, then with a quick turn she fled along with the rest of the LR. “Oh bugger.” Joe mumbled. “DRAGON! YOU KILLED MY LOVE. YOU WILL DIE!” Screamed the Amazon, she hurled her spear at Fin Fang Foom. The dragon, already battling with The Thighmasters guard was taking by surprise, the spear pierced the webbing of its left wing, it screamed and fell. Troia pulled a sword from a sheath in her back and pounced. “THE THIGHMASTERS GOING!” Noted Knifey. “WE SHOULD BE TOO!” Replied Joe. “WHAT ABOUT HER?” “WELL.......OH DAMMIT.” The leather-clad hero broke the cover he found behind a rock and ran toward the pair. “OKAY, I’M HERE, WHAT THE HELL DO I DO NOW?” Joe stood 20 metres from Troia and Fin Fang Foom, they seemed to be locked in a strange dance, where the music heard was the screams from their partner and when the song was over, one would be dead. Troia spotted Joe, “GET OUT MORTAL, THIS IS NOT A FIGHT FOR YOU.” “NO! I CAN’T LEAVE YOU!” He replied. Fin Fang Foom reared up knocking Troia backward skidding across the mud. She leapt to her feet quickly knocking the dragons head aside as it dived. The Amazon sprung upon the dragons neck sword in hand, Fin Fang Foom knew the danger and bucked violently, she rode it as a cowboy would a bucking bronco, Troia then drew the sword above her head and thrust down towards the back of the dragons neck, however the contact wasn’t flush and the sword ricocheted off its scales, igniting sparks into the cold evening air, the dragon erupted a stream of nuclear fire, “Whoa!” Joe dived for cover. Bucking more violently, Troia lost her hold on its neck and she fell to the ground winded. She lay stunned and prone, Fin Fang Foom regarded its victim before pouncing, it bit into the side of her body the dragon pulled her high into the air announcing its victory and roaring in triumph, “NEVER!” Screamed the Amazon and with her remaining strength drove the sword through the dragons jaw and up into his skull. They both screamed, a final death knell and they fell lifeless to the ground. Joe ran over to the Amazon still locked in the dragons jaw. She lay dead and her hands still grasped the sword, but her face looked serene, she had found peace and now she would be with her love. Joe fell to his knees and stroked a hair away from her face. A cool wind whipped through the battleground and silence descended. A calm after the storm. “She was the best of us,” Knifey noted grimly. “She was the best of me,” replied Joe. ----- The walk back to the cave was a long one, filled with old memories, now frayed and diluted. Not just memories but questions, Why would the Thighmaster, in a reality of his choosing become something like that? Why did a Lair Resistance exist at all? And why didn’t anyone help Troia? They were her team-mates, her friends, practically her family! Realisation dawned in his mind, “.......her family,” he mouthed as if to confirm what his brain had been saying. He ran the rest of the way to the cave. ----- “I’ve never heard of him,” Lisa replied bluntly. “But he can help us, I’m sure of it!” Joe protested again. “Joe,” Lisa put her hand on his shoulder “We’ve lost a lot today. Too much. But it has to end today. We’re regrouping and going after the Thighmaster again, all of us. I have a limit to my powers and I can’t waste them in the hope that one man can help us.” Joe hung his head “I know......But we have to try...Please, I wouldn’t ask unless this was important.” “Okay.......I summon - The Hooded Hood?” There was a flash of electric blue and a man in dark purple robes spun around and turned to face Joe. “Uh......Heya Mr Hood,” Joe smiled and gave a nervous wave. “Quite a world he’s created,” The Hooded Hood noted. “Who are you? Joe, is this the man who can help us?” Lisa asked. “So, very limited,” The Hood turned to face Lisa “.....But in some ways so very delicate.” He smiled thinly and clutched her chin turning her head and regarding her face as he did so. Lisa turned away in defiance and pushed his arm away. “Get off,” she snarled. The Hooded Hood laughed coldly, “Ahh......And in some ways so very similar!” Joe tried to change the subject “You can help us right? Help change this back the way it was.” “I can. But why should I? If I didn’t want this to exist, why would I let it happen in the first place?” Silence. “Listen......Your daughter.......Troia........” Joe forced the words out, “Troia is dead.” “I know. But so is the creature capable of stopping me. It was far stronger than our counterpart, no human to tame it, and with Zemo under the influence of the Celestians I will have no annoyances in my plans.” “You let your daughter die on purpose?” Joe raised his hand with Knifey and lunged at The Hooded Hood. Joe swiped at the mans face, which mocked him with a smirk of amusement. The Hood easily dodged the attack grabbing Joes wrist in the process clenching tighter than even the leather-clad hero thought possible. Joe gritted his teeth to hide the pain as the Hooded Hood brought him closer. “Everyone here is expendable, except me and your knife....When we have what we want, everything will return to as we knew, understand?” The cowled-crime czar whispered. Joe nodded slowly and The Hood let go of his wrist. “Look. I don’t know who you are, but if you can help us beat the Thighmaster you’re in,” announced Lisa. “Okay, so thats four of us,” Joe noted. Daio entered the cave “I’m coming too this time,” she carried a gun at her hips. “And the robot,” stated The Hooded Hood. “Its not-,” The Doctor replied. “You made time this morning,” The Hood interrupted. The robot entered the cave. It carried a glowing blue sword. “It has a self destruct?” “Yes.” “Good.” “Why?” “If we fail and the Thighmaster does rule this universe, I will make sure there is nothing in this universe to rule over.” “Look, Mr Hood,” Knifey spoke up “Why, if his mind created this place, why is there a Lair Resistance in the first place? And why does he look like that?” “The Celestian shard provided The Thighmaster with the ability to shape reality, it is a pity that his mind is weak, self-hating and utterly limited. He wants us to defeat him, why would he create a place like this? Make himself like he is? He wants to lose, because ultimately, he knows that he doesn’t want this, he’d rather be ruled than be a ruler.” ----- You can hear me, can’t you Zemo? I’m just behind your eyes...inside your mind. “Leave me in peace,” The Baron told himself. Never! You are better than this, stronger than this. Why do you serve? When you can rule?!? “I.....I serve The Thighmaster!” Your words ring false Heinrich! Break the grip on your mind! Let me out, and together we can show everyone who is Parodopolis’ rightful ruler! “No!” The Baron fell to the floor, pain wracking his body, pulsing through his head. The pain too much, he passed out. A few minutes later, the Baron awoke with a gasp, as if being resuscitated after death. He stood confident and proud. “I’m back,” he said with a smile. He noticed something at his feet. “Interesting....” He surveyed the body lying on the floor, still alive. It was Baron Heinrich Zemo. ---- The LR and Hooded Hood advanced quietly but quickly upon the Citadel, still in ruins, and many of its guard destroyed hours before, entrance into the Thighmasters stronghold was easy. “Its through here,” pointed the Hooded Hood they were in a complex series of tunnels that ran beneath the Citadel. They were strewn with broken robot parts, an electronic graveyard. “Jay!” Lisa gasped, she had found the fallen corpse of the Hatman. She ran over and looked down at the man. A steel monster no more, the all too human face of Jay Boaz was a mixture of determination and pain. “He must’ve......Changed back,” Lisa noted. She kissed his cold forehead and stood up, continuing with the LR on their original course. “Whats that?” The Doctor asked. “Nothing. Continue,” The Hooded Hood walked on without interruption. “Wait! I hear something too,” Joe spun round to face the noise as did the rest of the LR. A man crouched over the dead body of Jay Boaz, muttering something about a bad practical joke. “Hey! Leave Jay alone!” Lisa stormed forward grabbed the man by the shoulder and spun him round. Lisa gasped, as did most of the LR. “Jay?!?” She embraced him tightly. “Interesting...,” The Hooded Hood commented. “Erk! Lisa........your grip!” Hatman wriggled from her not unpleasant clutches, then breathed deeply, “Whats going on here? Hood! Dr Moo!” He readied a Hat from his belt. “No wait!” Joe waved his arms frantically in front of The Hatman. “We’re in a alternate reality!” “Ooooh......Right!” He put the hat back on his belt. “So, who do we have to beat up to get out of here?” “Whats going on? Why is he here?” Joe asked the Hood. “It seems reality is being broken, our universe is colliding with this universe if we don’t stop The Thighmaster soon, it is possible to two could merge,” The cowled-crime czar explained. “GAH!!!!!” The Spaceghost/Starseed amalgamation fell to floor dead. His scream bursting the ceiling to the tunnels causing a cave in, the LR fled toward the Thighmasters main chambers. ---- “Uh.......Finny?” “Mmhpmhmempm.” “You have something in your mouth....” “miph dooo?” “Yes.....ME!!!” “Whoa! Look at that! Someone’s made this great sculpture that looks exactly like us......Er....sort of.” ---- Mark Hopkins sat in a tent. He closed a blanket around him tighter as the evening air blew colder. “Er.......Hey there....Me.” Mark looked up at the boy who had entered the tent. It was him, but what was that? A plant!!! Mark screamed like a girl and passed out. spiffy looked down at himself in disappointment. “Wuss,” he remarked. ---- “Ah......Zemo. Attend me,” The Thighmaster threw out his fat hand. “No.” “Pardon?” “No, instead I think you will die,” The Baron pulled out a small mini laser he’d just constructed and fired it squarely at the Thighmasters head. It burst like a melon. “Ah good. Now, to rule.” “Wait! That hurt!” The Thighmaster screamed. “How?” The Baron was confused, most people he shot in head never complained about it. His eyes focused on the jewel in the Thighmasters chest. He aimed the laser at the Thighmaster again, firing. The laser hit the jewel refracting in a thousand different directions, splitting the Thighmaster into a thousand different pieces. “NOW! To rule......” “Not so fast mister! Where do you get off shooting me like that?” The Baron spun around quickly and saw The Thighmaster, as whole as before. “You cannot be killed. Interesting.” “Bots! Kill him!” The Thighmasters personal guard entered, firing at the Baron. He dived for cover, behind a statue of the Thighmaster himself. Just then, the other Baron Zemo entered the Thighmasters chamber. “There he is!” The Thighmaster pointed. “No! Wait!” He protested. He was fired upon by 20 of the Thighmaster personal guard, he disintegrated instantly. The original Baron couldn’t help but give a snigger of cold humour. I will bide my time, and when its right, I will defeat you Thighmaster. After all, there are far more worse things than death. ---- “We are here,” The Hooded Hood announced. The LR had come up on a doorway at the end of a long tunnel. They all stood expectantly. “Right, count me ready.” Hatman put on his steelers hat. “No! Jay.....Don’t wear that one. Please?” Lisa pleaded. “Sure, it was getting a bit tight anyway, making me a bit light-headed. This one okay?” He showed her his Jets cap. “Yes.” She smiled and said “We’re ready.” “Good,” The Hooded Hood burst the door open and ran into the Thighmasters chamber where 30 of his personal guard were waiting. ---- “Uh.....Is this supposed to happen?” Joe asked Daio. “I doubt it. Do you think us being killed was in our plans?” “I hope not.” “Me either,” remarked Knifey. The Dark Knight stood by the Thighmasters side, he was smiling and looked upon proceedings expectantly. “Greg?” Hatman gasped. “Bad guy,” replied Joe from the side of his mouth. “Ooh...Well that sucks.” “Hello again......ManMan,” Thighmaster spat. “You know, I’m ordering my robots only to wound you, for you see I will have my fun later.” “He likes you,” noted Hatman. “Let just hope not in a ‘Deliverance’ kind of way,” Knifey remarked. All the men who heard this winced. “FIRE!” The Thighmaster commanded. Nothing. “Er......FIRE?” He repeated. The Dark Knight dropped down onto the Dark Knight knocking him away. “I have overided their lasers for the minute, but only for the minute.” The Lair Resistance attacked. The battle furious. ManMan got ready to pounce, “Ready little buddy?” He asked Knifey. “Lets kick some alternate-universe robotic posterior!” “Wait.” The Hooded Hood placed a cold, strong hand on Joe shoulder. “.....yes?” Joe expected the worse. “Stay,” The Cowled-crime czar took Knifey and calmly waded into the battle-field. “Hey!” The Hooded Hood turned sharply, eyes flashing green. “Back by Tuesday will be fine.” The Hooded resumed normal course. Joe exhaled sharply. “Ack!” 2 robots advanced on him. ---- The Hood walked undeterred from course, side-stepping or dodging any attack aimed upon him. He was soon upon the Thighmaster who sat quivering and worried. “Hood!” Zemo fired his laser at the cowled-crime czar, hitting the robot who was advancing slowly from behind. The Hood smiled. Looked down at the Thighmaster. “This will hurt, a lot.” He brought Knifey high into the air, and quickly plunged the blade into the ruler of the alternate Parodopolis, it struck him in the centre of his chest, shattering the jewel. The Thighmaster thrust out a hand and pulled the Hooded Hood closer. “....thankyou....” He whispered, and died. ---- Joe knew he couldn’t out-dodge the 2 robots for long, his only course of action was to bide his time until someone could help him. Lisa noticed him first and ran to help, she summoned the robots into each other causing them both to explode. “*phew* thanks,” Joe wiped his brow. “No problem.” “Lookout!” Joe pushed Lisa out of the way, a robot fired, it struck Joe in neck. Lisa spun round summoning the robot into the far wall. She went to Joe. “I’m sorry Joe,” Lisa brushed the side of his face, “I’m so sorry...” “Thats......okay,” He spluttered. “When this is over, things.....will be normal again.” Joe closed his eyes and he died. ---- Lisa looked up and saw The Hood kill The Thighmaster. Everything went quiet, no action made a sound, the fighting had stopped, any of the remaining robots dropped to the floor. The Lair Resistance looked around in confusion. The jewel in the Thighmasters chest, levitated into the air accelerated out of the building into the sky and toward the heavens. ---- Open dammit! His eyes opened. They were blurry and fuzzed over with morning mist. Better, now get yer butt over to the bathroom He walked over to the bathroom turned and looked into the bathroom mirror. “GAH!!” He ducked onto the floor. Get up, wuss. The man carefully stared into the mirror again he looked at his face, and the memories came back. “Aren’t I supposed to be dead?” Joe asked himself. “No,” came the reply from the mirror. “GAH!!” He ducked onto the floor again. The mirror sighed. Joe got up again, The Hooded Hood was in his mirror? “You aren’t dead. I succeeded.” “Everything’s back to normal then?” “Yes.” “Yes! Why did you use Knifey?” “It created the shard, logic dictated it would be the only thing to destroy it.” “So where has the shard gone, and wheres Knifey?” “Here,” Knifey commented. “The shard has been returned to its owner,” The cowled-crime czar answered. Joe looked down onto his belt. “Ooh. Well, I just want to thank you Mister Hood. Oh! just one last thing....” The Hooded Hood raised an eyebrow. “Why? Why did you do all this?” Silence. “You may court my daughter,” The Hooded faded out. “Well.” Joe scratched his head and walked into the livingroom/diningroom/bedroom/kitchen. “What do you make of that?” Knifey asked. “I dunno.” Joe flopped down into his favourite chair. “Whats the time?” “4 in the afternoon.” Silence. Knifey sighed. “Theres a Buck Rogers! marathon on!” “Mmmm.......Erin Grey," They said in unison. THE END. With thanks to everyone who supported this. Hope you enjoyed it! Seeya next time! ManMan ManMan |
| The double-sized ending to - The Age Of The Thighmaster! ( ManMan ) (08-Jan-2000 12:31:09) |
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